deepundergroundpoetry.com
On the bed - - -
On the bed,
She lay,
Spread.
Welcoming him,
Into her.
Maybe this version - - -
On the bed,
She lay,
Spread.
Welcoming him.
What do you'll think?
Published 11th Jun 2015
| Edited 24th Aug 2015
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
14th Jun 2015 3:22am
leave those last two words out, you so cleverly set the scene with so few words and at once extended an invitation...curtsy bow..
24th Aug 2015 5:52pm
A late thank you for the comment.
I think you may be right about those last two words.
Jay
I think you may be right about those last two words.
Jay
