A Profound Admission

 On the surface
all appears as you would hope.

Me, content back in my cage;
moving on without you
as nothing more than a friend.

I should be grateful to have you
even as just a friend...
so I bite my tongue
and I swallow the truth
like a jagged pill
that cuts right down to my heart.

What you don't see
are the storms of tears
I still cry over you....
the mountains of tear drenched tissues
strewn upon my bed
mourning the loss
of something
more genuine than I've ever felt.

I don't let you see
my red and swollen eyes
that heave up tears
from the bowels of my soul
and pour out
in painful torrents of emotion.

I mask my truth
with smiles and jests,
a fierce stride and a pretty dress
that betray the truth of my soul
while on the inside
I weigh the price
of telling you exactly how I feel.

Fuck it!

I'm done pretending
in order to spare you the discomfort
of my truth...our truth.

I refuse to lie to the one I love.

I need you.

A statement more profound
than 'I love you'.

I need you
like I need air to breathe.

I need you
like I need my heart to keep beating.

I need you
like flowers need water and sun to grow.

These are not simply romantic notions.
I am baring my most vulnerable self to you.

I need you
is not easy to admit
and even harder to say.

Do not take this lightly
and do not punish me
with boundaries and space.

I need you.

To bear one's soul takes courage
to need another as I do you
is a reluctant admission.
Do not stay away from me.

Embrace me
with all the recognition
of a connection we both share.
Do not act safely where this is concerned.

Instead, meet me
in your truth.
Bring me your honesty.
Let us make each other
feel safe in the knowledge
that we both harbor the same need.