snuff

I keep comparing myself to Alice, but I'm nothing like Alice. Aside from the stoner caterpillar, I've got a feeling she had some morals.

Me, I'm getting more immoral by the second. Maybe it's just the guilt having its way with my morbid tinkering into shit I shouldn't. Whatever, this space ain't a fun place to be.

I didn't think people could die down here. It was all just a hoax. Clever camera tricks. Slight of hand. I was wrong.

Once you start scratching the itch, it's hard to stop.

Reality check. People die. And down here people treat it like porn. The thought that people would come here to watch that... though I guess it aint that different to people going to watch the gladiators in the colosseum in Rome, back when death was a sport.

I want to think people are better than that.

I saw the film. Watched as the guy choked on his own blood as he had his head smashed in. Saw him struggle to breathe. I walked out after that. Smoked a cigarette and tried to process his digitized death. I can't unsee it, and it's too late to wish I could.

Human life is a fragile thing. People watching death for fun... I can't find the logic. Or the fun.


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