Shook

Its been something like 144 days since she died
and Im still Shook
Cant sleep a decent night
heart won’t rest
straying away from the Vile  Nightmares
that visit my already unsteady mind at night
Im Shook

See no one prepared me for Death
Yea they speak about it
I'd hear about someones passing
and  send my condolences
send nice cards and  say how sorry I am
But no ones prepared me for when it was my time
No One Prepared me for loss
No One prepared me to lose
Half my heart
The hands that held me
the fists that protected me
the lips that fed my spirit
and my belly
No One prepared me
to Lose my Best friend
my  counselor
my nurse
my confidant
that kick in my butt when i needed it most
No one prepared  me to lose
 My Mama

And even now as I sit on the edge
Screaming awful gut wrenching cries inside
letting my words go
I am shook
Soul uneasy
shook
prickling in my skin
shook
Tingling hands
shook
shortness of breath
Shook
heart beating unsteady
Shook
& I can’t stop Shaking

Cause my reality is ….. On Sept 11 2015 My Mama died
I was in a War Zone and didn’t get to say Goodbye
and No matter how hard I try
and I just can’t unshake that