Your Fiery Rage

I wouldn't dare drown in your fiery rage again,
not after all the hell you've sent me through; I refuse.
as I lie awake in bed at night,
memories of your excused abuse haunts my wrecked mind
and even though
I'd always find some absurd excuse to relieve the pain of your sick games,
it always comes creeping back into my mind to claim the soul you've left behind.
it's such a shame we're bound by hate in place of former love
but for me, just a single puff of smoke is all it takes
to get me lost enough to forget your fiery rage again and again and again.
these past few days
I've drowned in your hate,
your cruel words spilling into my head,
repeating, repeating, over and over, again
and again.
I toss and turn in my bed
and try to think of him,
the one who treats me so much better than you ever did.
perhaps your fiery rage isn't so much rage anymore, but a swirling hurricane of envy that eats you alive every fucking night because you wish, you wish you were still mine because you miss how
you would fuck me every night
and hear my sweet, lonely moans
pressed against your ear
but of course, dear,
this envy lives deep inside your bones...
I'm all you've ever known,
so perhaps I understand this fiery rage built up inside you
when I flicked your love off my shoulder
so I could meet his wonderful lips and never have to think of yours again.
and I'm not sure if it's hatred I feel,
but maybe one day,
you'll admit you never wanted to stay and your lies were anything but okay,
and your asking of my hand in marriage was the most ridiculous thing you've ever asked.
I wouldn't dare drown in your fiery rage again,
not when
I have the most beautiful being by my side.