Let My Mind Go

When my eyes were renewed,
and I saw the way of the world I inhaled sharply despite the hole you left in my chest.
Made my mind spin faster and faster as the tornado of memories flooded me.
Lying in my bed with out you by my side will never be the same.

Goosebumps ingress the surface of my skin whenever someone brushes against me,
Every time I think I've moved on I'm fixated upon the hole you left once again.
As hollow as an old tree trunk eaten away by termites, farther down than the ocean floor.
I never cared about those diamonds or that gold, the sound of the oxygen escaping your chest was enough to keep me engrossed.

I've always had a burning passion for the Earth we inhabit,
The love you filled me in made that passion feel like a feeble mouse cowering in the corner from a kitten.
But I simply would not do for you, your love was still with the pretty one that left you.
I always knew deep down that you were not here with me.

Denial was my newest hobby, for if I loved you as much as I did you would have moved on.
From someone who couldn't love you the way you loved her.
But instead you made her another song, explaining how my love was not enough.
You've left me as she left you.

"Day after day sitting confused up in my bed towel wrapped around my face steady grasping for breath, it really made me feel like my heart was being ripped outta my chest"
I would think that after you wrote these words, you would never want anyone to feel them.
But you used me to escape your thoughts that were engulfed by her.
And now that I'm kneeling here before you begging for you to take your love from me, you tell me no.

My heart is now left a baron land,
and every time I hear your name, or see your face in my mind, the ice that confines cracks a bit deeper.
But I will never reveal these thoughts to you,
for I will take your love out of friendship before I let you go.

Loving Marshall was one of the first poems I have ever written,
and maybe with time Losing Marshall will become one of my best works.
Or maybe with time, you will learn to love me like I love you.
Or maybe I am still just a bit too hopeful.

Dear Marshall,
Loving you is one of the worst things I can ever do,
But I can't seem to give up on you.
Even while I'm left, with this huge hole in my chest.