6 years too long

I taste the warm, foul tasting blood in my mouth. sweat dripping from my limbs and my hands tremble, incapable of lighting my cigarette. I can't spit the words out, the anger forcing the words down my throat, choking me. I can't breathe. I fight back tears, clenching my fists and trying to put them through brick walls I can't possibly break down. You stand over me. Mocking me, and laughing. You offer your hand out, just as I go to accept, you stomp your cold, muddy boots down on my fingers. Crushing and breaking them. I call out, begging you to stop, but I have no such luck. It'll never stop unless I figure out how to stop loving you.