deepundergroundpoetry.com
Girl off key
Girl Off Key
she had a deep rich
delicate negativity
like the rotting root
of a young sprout
with a love for singing
And a temper to write
Feeding off of the earth and
Her passion for her music
She turned to nothing
Just another lost soul
Living for music,
and escaping reality through her writing
Passing her time without anyone by her side
Just living to die alone
At peace with her decisions
She continued to be the rotting sprout
that everyone perceived her to be
UnTill her day was gone
But what she didn't ever know
Her music lived on..
Published 19th May 2011
| Edited 20th May 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 8
reads 912
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
19th May 2011 7:07pm
19th May 2011 7:08pm
19th May 2011 7:10pm
19th May 2011 7:14pm
20th May 2011 4:23am
this is nice gg.
i am assuming that it is a kinda self portrait in writing.
it is easy enough to read and the read between the lines is also good.
i might look into breaking up the longer lines into two lines to keep the rhythm that you set
at the start.
"She continued to be the rotting sprout that everyone perceived her to be"
this is a bold statement but i do get why you felt you had to write it.
anyhooo your honesty is a credit to you.
fair play to ya!!
i am assuming that it is a kinda self portrait in writing.
it is easy enough to read and the read between the lines is also good.
i might look into breaking up the longer lines into two lines to keep the rhythm that you set
at the start.
"She continued to be the rotting sprout that everyone perceived her to be"
this is a bold statement but i do get why you felt you had to write it.
anyhooo your honesty is a credit to you.
fair play to ya!!
20th May 2011 4:28am
20th May 2011 4:23am
this is nice gg.
i am assuming that it is a kinda self portrait in writing.
it is easy enough to read and the read between the lines is also good.
i might look into breaking up the longer lines into two lines to keep the rhythm that you set
at the start.
"She continued to be the rotting sprout that everyone perceived her to be"
this is a bold statement but i do get why you felt you had to write it.
anyhooo your honesty is a credit to you.
fair play to ya!!
i am assuming that it is a kinda self portrait in writing.
it is easy enough to read and the read between the lines is also good.
i might look into breaking up the longer lines into two lines to keep the rhythm that you set
at the start.
"She continued to be the rotting sprout that everyone perceived her to be"
this is a bold statement but i do get why you felt you had to write it.
anyhooo your honesty is a credit to you.
fair play to ya!!
20th May 2011 4:23am
this is nice gg.
i am assuming that it is a kinda self portrait in writing.
it is easy enough to read and the read between the lines is also good.
i might look into breaking up the longer lines into two lines to keep the rhythm that you set
at the start.
"She continued to be the rotting sprout that everyone perceived her to be"
this is a bold statement but i do get why you felt you had to write it.
anyhooo your honesty is a credit to you.
fair play to ya!!
i am assuming that it is a kinda self portrait in writing.
it is easy enough to read and the read between the lines is also good.
i might look into breaking up the longer lines into two lines to keep the rhythm that you set
at the start.
"She continued to be the rotting sprout that everyone perceived her to be"
this is a bold statement but i do get why you felt you had to write it.
anyhooo your honesty is a credit to you.
fair play to ya!!
