Journal: Somewhat of a Rant

I used to worry about having panic attacks if i were to be surrounded in a crowded area, but ever since i switched schools and left my friends all i get is more and more depressed. I stress myself out  with school work and i am not really that much social when it comes to going out, i get bored easily because im fed up of life, i cant really end it though, there wouldn't be anything to do when im dead so i would rather stay alive as much as possible.. Drawing and just doing things to support my family.. Even if they have Never supported me at all in the first place.. Maybe, i just love too much... Should i change the way i view things? im not a negative person but should i have a different way of handling things? Im such a hypocrite, i got it from my family.. But what else didn't i get from them..? A perfect family, a loving dad thats accepting of his bi-curious daughter? A family who remembers the day of her birth! Instead its just a non-supportive family who's just selfish of themselves and doesn't even have a care in the world that their daughter feels like killing herself every once in a while when things like this go through her mind, she feels like going into a mental hospital... At least someone there would give a damn who she was and what she wants to be in life.. An artist, A person that is free of expressing themselves in which way they feel the most secure of their upmost abilities..  To be free.. To be free.. And have this dream become a reality.. To know how it would seem..Thats all i ever wanted it to be...I guess things could've been worse.. But its just good to know,After everything thats happened.. I never let anyone change the person whom im meant to be.. I may have changed the way i think.. And how i am much wiser than any of my family members.. All i have to say is i have a headstart on life and the troubles that are headed my way.. My family made me stronger to face the challenges of everyday life.. So..i thank them...in a way..