Demons of my past...

After all these years I still see your face
Your voice filling me with so much pain and hate
Waking up from the memory of your unwanted touch
Feeling your hands around my throat as you tell me to hush
Being so young I had no choice but to obey
Like razor blades across my skin, my soul was shredded and frayed
I'll never forget all the tears I cried
The day my brother and sister died
Because of me
Because of what they seen
Those images have never left my head
Their screams haunts my thoughts, fills me with dread
I can hear her asking me why
Why she had to die
Tears streaming down her pretty little face
Her small hands grabbing me
She begs me please
Squeezing, scratching
Kicking, slapping
Until finally she took her last breath
Its a heavy feeling, a secret that must always be kept
But the sound of his voice, the terror
His face I see in the mirror
Screaming out in pain
As his life was literally drained
Stabbed  and beat
Inch by inch his body left to nothing but piles of meat
The smell of his blood a lingering essence
I just stood there watching in silent acquiescence
Frozen in fear, only tears streamed down my face
Even as they locked us in the closet for those 45 days
I Just sat there in the corner trying not to breathe in the death and decay