My Mothers Pain,

I sit here with my mother insight,
I sit here every day and night,
My eyes nailed to my mother,
Feeble frail and dying,
I know there will never be another,
If only I could take her pain,
And swallow it down my throat,
What does God really gain,
By seeing my mother choke,
A tube in her nose for breathing,
It's the only thing keeping her here,
And a tube to wear when she's sleeping,
If not she would be dead in another year,
I hate to see her live life this way,
Forever piercing pain,
Her only view of life is death,
A thousand tears I leave beside her,
Forever, leaving a stain,
If I could trade my life with her,
I'd surely give it away,
She's the only reason I'm in this world,
I'd like to return the favor just so she could stay,
There's another hole inside my heart,
For every time she cries,
And I wouldn't even know where to start,
When she finally dies,
I'd tear a hole through heavens gates,
Just to be, by her side,
And I know I'd take my last breath,
If she ever died,
and so for now, in the meantime,
I sit here by her bed,
To catch her each time she stops breathing,
And wonder if God,
Heard each prayer I said,
because it's a tough pill to swallow,
To pray for my mother,
unless he's with another,
Or Gods just very hollow,
so again I just sit here,
Day after day after day,
And I'll still be sitting here,
Night after night after night,
to keep my mother motivated,
Motivated to continue the fight,
But I  know that one day,
Walking through the valley of the shadow of death,
She will someday see the light,
And never again will I feel her breath,
So I'm just gonna sit here and cry,
For Another endless night,
And I'll forever hold her hand,
Until her spot in heaven,
Is clearly, within sight,
But I'll never let go,
of her hand, I hold Forever and tight,
And if she dies before me,
I'll surely take my life,
No matter where I go,
Be it heaven or be it hell,
I'll never be able to tell,
But I'd climb over heavens gates,
Or blow my way out of hell,
I'd take on what ever is thrown at me,
Just to be, by my mothers side,
I just want her to know just one thing,
I'll be holding her hand when she dies,
But for now I'll continue to be by her side,
Forever an Angel dies in heaven,
Each time, my mother cried,
I sit here and hear,
Beep,
Beep,
Beep,
just trying to find a reason,
Why each time the BY-PAP beeps,
Is another time she stops breathing,
I shake her foot ever so gently,
Just make sure she's still alive,
I wonder if she knows what she means to me,
And if she dies, I'll never survive,
So I'm sitting here again tonight,
Hearing the machine beep,
Seeing how hard it is to fight,
Just so my mothers here to keep,
So I sit here another night,
Beep,
Beep,
beep,
I sit here trying not to cry,
Beep,
Beep,
Beep,
Each time I hear that beep,
Is another time she might die,
but I continue to comfort her,
Tend to her every need,
And if God can hear me,
I beg you to answer my plead,
But until then all I hear,
Is beep,
And beep,
And beep,
I know deep down inside her time is near,
But oh how I hate this,
oh how this is my biggest fear,
Oh how I wish to have her at least another year,
But I feel it,
she's drifting away,
And how I see it,
She is slipping away,
Feeble frail and dying,
I wish there was another way,
Be for now I sit and just watch her sleep,
and I sit here praying not to hear another beep,