should I forgive?

There are some things you just don’t need to know
 Like the fact that I cry myself to sleep every single night
Or how just by walking outside I am reminded of you
 I scream and drop to my knees in sadness
 It is like every little every day task has become so much harder without you here
I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore
 How could I have been so dumb and allowed you to come into my life
 I have never regretted something so much
 But is this really regrets or just guilt is all that I am feeling
Is it just me being guilty for missing you?
You were the devil always whispering into my ear
 Forcing me to commit sin but for some reason your devilish ways gave me life
Was the adrenaline I felt when you laid me down on the bed
Was it the rush I felt when your hands where tracing the lines of my body
The pleasure you gave me was no good
Your love just isn’t what I need
But for some reason no matter how much I say I don’t need you
I do need you
I need you here
I need you at 3 AM
I need you at 9 PM
I need you here at my lowest
I need you at my highest
But if I were to take you back will you be the person you have created
Are you really a changed man?
Or is this just a hoax to get into my pants once more
Who knows?
 I surely don’t
I feel as if you were just a fictional character
I have created you and when I was around the living human form
It was then that I realized that my thoughts and the real you did not add up
The fictional you and the real you were not compatible
I let my thoughts control me and ignored my heart
But even if I had followed my heart I feel like it still would have ended like this
What a fool I am