Its up to you

I miss my children...
their smiles are like one in a million...
they provided me this wonderful feelin
that no one could ever amount to...

But they are thousands of miles away...
And it was my choice to sacrifice
Seeing them a thousand times a day...
Why you ask?
Lets just say
that's something I won't ever try to explain..
because it's lame
to make excuses.

I guess you can say the way I was day to day..
Was starting to become a nuisance..
 Plus, me and the woman I want to be with for the
rest of my days wanted our own place
And there was no other way to do this...

Before we moved I was living with the mother
of my kids...sleeping on the couch.. running in and out...this was no way to live...

Fighting and arguing in front of my young ones like some dumb dumbs.. plus no trust fund...no income...nothing ever asked of me would ever get done because I hid from...my obligations.. it's like I had no concentration... or maybe its just constipation... full of shit with reasons for leavin those awesome faces...

But I have to say this...I did leave Pittsburgh because of love...n that's real...I met someone who made me feel something that not even my kids could make me feel...
N beings that I was getting them away from the drama...I felt that this was one heck of a deal...
But it's taking long as heck to heal..
I guess no matter how time goes by..it's something I'll always be made to feel...I call it punishment... for jumpin ship and not figurin out some other shit...like saving money while n Pittsburgh n getting out my baby mother's crib... a place where  me and my lover lived... where my lovely kids could come n live if they wanted too...this is something I still wanna do...so I guess it's not really up to me if we leave Vegas and go back to Pittsburgh ...it's up to you