what is a friend?

I never knew from my first years of school to the end I never knew,
the days dragged on the sorrow hidden by a lie,
nobody knew and nobody cared they had a group of friends a life,
I was locked up hoping to die day after day,
week after week, they all blurred together,
then it was just me in a world of darkness trying to claw my way out,
I never knew all I had to do was call for somebody,
Somebody new, Somebody different, Somebody lost in the darkness with me so I gave up,
I gave in the nasty thoughts,
the pit which only goes deeper and deeper each day and night,
My thoughts were this simple I am an artist and I shall be my canvas,
one day someone will see my art and under stand but that day never came and here I lay slowly wishing it all away,
my life is dark and there appears to be no light but it lays beyond a wall to high to break,
Now I slowly fade from this world and wonder... What is a friend?