Awake

So many nights I spent awake chasing a high that never gives and only takes, so much time asking myself why, why I do it every day for fucks sake, even when I know it's my soul my life my family that it breaks.
Fuck the syringe, once again it's a habit it's no longer a binge. The highs just a bonus, I crave the cold steel, that's what it's all about, all about the fucking feel, as I push it into the well used vein, jack it back then plunge it to release the pain that's the feel for the steel ruling my brain.
That's my meal, my mixed veggies, my steak, my mixed grill def not perfect and not fucking ideal. Addictions that way to often kill
I know I'm better than this shit so y am I still
Trying to once again break this habit there's so much more to life than being an addict.