deepundergroundpoetry.com
Broken Souls
If I could lift your spirit over the river of tears washing you downstream
I would bear your burden and make your nightmare another kind of dream
Put down the blade, don’t cut away at the pieces left surrounding your soul
The pain you feel isn’t the only thing that is still under your control
Please don’t want to die when there’s so many feelings you haven’t tried
I know because I wasted thirty- three years wishing I had died
Until I realized that life is a doorway, you hold the key to be set free
The dead cannot unlock the secret gate leading to the hallway of eternity
I’m barely strong enough to carry my broken soul across the parapet
So follow the sound of my voice to a place you haven’t discovered yet
I would bear your burden and make your nightmare another kind of dream
Put down the blade, don’t cut away at the pieces left surrounding your soul
The pain you feel isn’t the only thing that is still under your control
Please don’t want to die when there’s so many feelings you haven’t tried
I know because I wasted thirty- three years wishing I had died
Until I realized that life is a doorway, you hold the key to be set free
The dead cannot unlock the secret gate leading to the hallway of eternity
I’m barely strong enough to carry my broken soul across the parapet
So follow the sound of my voice to a place you haven’t discovered yet
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 13
reads 1061
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re: Broken Souls
Re: Broken Souls
30th Mar 2015 10:08am
It's good, I like it... But if you don't feel it's done, keep tweaking it.... I work on mine for ages until I'm happy!! Keep it up!
0

re: Re: Broken Souls
30th Mar 2015 9:28pm
Re: Broken Souls
Anonymous
30th Mar 2015 10:59pm
Outstanding! Quite enjoyed it deeply JJ

0

Re: Broken Souls
31st Mar 2015 00:39am
I think it's an amazing write - it feels finished, polished even - but then that's just me.
I am not one for uplifting poetry usually but I will make a clear exception for this one
:-)
I am not one for uplifting poetry usually but I will make a clear exception for this one
:-)
1

re: Re: Broken Souls
31st Mar 2015 5:47am
Thank you David! I had been thinking about a friend who has been cutting and has attempted suicide in the past, more than once. Sometimes it is hard to find the right words to say in dark times. My own weakness makes me wish I had the strength to carry the weight of my own existence even though I want so badly to carry her when she falls. I kept searching for the words to express my need to be her guardian angel. Then I read a poem Grace wrote called "Soul and Spirit" that focused my thoughts and opened my mind. It's not perfect but it says what I feel. JJ
re: Re: Broken Souls
1st Apr 2015 4:29am
Re: Broken Souls
2nd Apr 2015 3:50am
Dearest JJ.....this is so beautiful.....I'm sure your words are a comfort to a hurting soul.....luv and hugs your way xo :)
1

re: Re: Broken Souls
2nd Apr 2015 4:20am
Re. Broken Souls
26th May 2016 7:37pm
I love the tone of hopeful vulnerability in the end. "I’m barely strong enough to carry my broken soul across the parapet" And yet you're still encouraging the reader to follow into that hope...Very much enjoyed this.
Willow
Willow
1

Re: Re. Broken Souls
27th May 2016 1:25pm
Thank you Willow! In some ways this poem is a prequel to a poem you already commented on from earlier this month called "Behind Unlocked Doors @
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/237368-behind-unlocked-doors/
JJ
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/237368-behind-unlocked-doors/
JJ