deepundergroundpoetry.com
Deep Blue Sea
It was so inviting
the waves dancing
behind the shadow
of pale moonlight
like a lover’s touch
a promise of a kiss
rich and tender
that I decided
to take a dip
Only a few steps
I'm already deep
in the ocean's den
enveloping me,
weakening me in
its mighty grip
all it took is some
moments before the
flares above me
completely shut
I am drowning
unable to scream
as the salt water
slowly fills my lungs
an extreme fear
escaped my body
sinking further
into the abyss
on my destruction
There was silence
everything went black
and time stood still
then an adrenalin
suddenly kicks in
grasping for my
last breath
of mortality
Under the crimson
shade of death
my own worst enemy
I saw myself
cradling my body
desperately praying
to wake up from
this morbid dream
the waves dancing
behind the shadow
of pale moonlight
like a lover’s touch
a promise of a kiss
rich and tender
that I decided
to take a dip
Only a few steps
I'm already deep
in the ocean's den
enveloping me,
weakening me in
its mighty grip
all it took is some
moments before the
flares above me
completely shut
I am drowning
unable to scream
as the salt water
slowly fills my lungs
an extreme fear
escaped my body
sinking further
into the abyss
on my destruction
There was silence
everything went black
and time stood still
then an adrenalin
suddenly kicks in
grasping for my
last breath
of mortality
Under the crimson
shade of death
my own worst enemy
I saw myself
cradling my body
desperately praying
to wake up from
this morbid dream
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 1077
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Deep Blue Sea
26th Mar 2015 5:44pm
Unexpected turn of events after the initial dip - good read - thanks for the pleasure shared. S.O.
0
re: Re: Deep Blue Sea
Re: Deep Blue Sea
Anonymous
27th Mar 2015 00:06am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Deep Blue Sea
27th Mar 2015 8:00am
Re: Deep Blue Sea
27th Mar 2015 2:50am
re: Re: Deep Blue Sea
27th Mar 2015 8:03am
Re: Deep Blue Sea
28th Mar 2015 8:41am
re: Re: Deep Blue Sea
28th Mar 2015 9:49am
Re: Deep Blue Sea
Anonymous
19th Apr 2015 11:11pm
I love this for so many reasons. Outstanding work!
0
re: Re: Deep Blue Sea
20th Apr 2015 00:17am
Re: Deep Blue Sea
30th May 2015 11:10pm
Your innards merely made me sigh in calm intensity, something highly enjoyed.
1
re: Re: Deep Blue Sea
2nd Jun 2015 6:14am
Re. Deep Blue Sea
24th Jul 2015 00:22am
Ahhh, napnau, luv ~ :-*
You have truly excelled at this craft. This poem of yours has attained the pinnacle of artistry as far as I am concerned. I am in no wise exaggerating here either.
I am having the most volatile aversion reaction to this poem.
I absolutely adore the beginning of this poem. You skillfully lure us in much as the sea lures you... ;-* Then, you change everything, drastically, and this becomes somewhat else. I feel compelled to read this over and over even as I cringe in distress and desire to turn away.
This is truly the sign of excellent art, luv. You cause strong response, positive or negative, and make us examine ourselves on a deeper level. You elicit that visceral response. Masterfully done, luv. Tis extraordinary art. :-*
You have truly excelled at this craft. This poem of yours has attained the pinnacle of artistry as far as I am concerned. I am in no wise exaggerating here either.
I am having the most volatile aversion reaction to this poem.
I absolutely adore the beginning of this poem. You skillfully lure us in much as the sea lures you... ;-* Then, you change everything, drastically, and this becomes somewhat else. I feel compelled to read this over and over even as I cringe in distress and desire to turn away.
This is truly the sign of excellent art, luv. You cause strong response, positive or negative, and make us examine ourselves on a deeper level. You elicit that visceral response. Masterfully done, luv. Tis extraordinary art. :-*
1
Re: Re. Deep Blue Sea
27th Jul 2015 10:12pm
I am deeply humbled by your words.
It leaps my heart with extreme joy.
Gratitude for the beautiful comment.
Much love Savaja.
It leaps my heart with extreme joy.
Gratitude for the beautiful comment.
Much love Savaja.
Re. Deep Blue Sea
29th Aug 2015 11:38am
While you've written of the sea, it certainly could serve as a metaphor for so many other things ... drugs, misplaced love and trust, the burdens of parenthood, or being a teen in today's world.
I love the delicate strokes of your pen in this as it draws me in as a reader.
I love the delicate strokes of your pen in this as it draws me in as a reader.
0
Re: Re. Deep Blue Sea
It's nice to know that people can interpret/relate on my words in their own view of life. Be it a personal experience or an in-depth observation of human behavior, and always find a positive outcome in a situation.
Thank you for the wonderful comment. Cheers.