Nobody will ever hear me..silent screams...

My silence is just a quarter of the pain. Not being able to speak to you what i feel. How it hurts when i cant even trust you. You speak to others of my anxiety and fears.. I dont wish to speak anymore.. Tears run down my face as i try to hold in the thoughts that pierce at me like needles.. If only you understood but you make it seem as my life is a game.. Im put aside where all i feel is shame.. Nobody will ever understand how i feel...even if they try to figure me out all they will ever get is this same painful silence.. The tears cut my eyes as i try to say that "..its fine.."
When it isn't at all.. I feel like this life of mine.. Is all my fault..