dead to me

I try my best to forget
To run away...
But everywhere I go I can't get away.
You haunt my memories,
And I don't know why...
This rage fills my lungs,
But nothing comes out.
I am tired...
Sick of running away,
When I know I can't....
I used to say I'm sorry,
For all of the stupid shit you have done.
I am stuck...
You are dead to me,
And when I see you.
A weakness fills me.
Yet I still say sorry,
You never helped me.
I feel used...
A toy for your satisfaction.
To be played with...
Makes my heart drop six feet under.
When the day comes,
I will say goodbye.
I will no longer be your toy.
I admire when that day will come.
I am filled with this hate
This regret.
I just CANT get away.
What will happen next?
Everyone I'm around I feel isolated.
Hurting me or hurting them.
Its always one of the two....
I can't cry
I can't forget
I can't get away....
I am numb.