from the outside in...inside out

Im watching from the inside out
A love is blossoming
a family is forming
my mother is happy
im watching from the inside out
im listening
i can hear it all
im not a part of this unit

im watching from the inside out
a heart beats
im aching for understanding
life goes on
and im only watching
from the inside out

i hope you got the letter
can you make it better down here??
i cant believe in you
you make it so hard..

oh god why me?
why was i given this episode to watch?
can't i have a new series to see?
i wanna be a part of the show!!

im watching from the inside of this frame
a few mere pixels frozen from another time,
they do not see my eyes wonder from the inside of this photo frame
watching from the inside out.

they close the blinds at night
how many movies will they watch?
how many bowls of popcorn will they enjoy?
open the blinds so i can laugh with you...
from the outside in...?

this unit is so in love with this family..
i envy their smiles
the way they orchestrate each meal
filled with tender loving care
and here i am
filled with tender depressing need

so sing them to sleep
with the sweetest lullabies
and i will listen from the outside in
ill listen and ill watch
waiting patiently for my time to play
for my time to love
ill wait day and night
ill wait

when my time comes..
theyll call me mommy and ill let them in
ill open my screen door
ill never close the blinds
they'll never freeze in a frame..
they'll know my family's name
they'll be my family's name
and dammit they wont be me
they'll be happy.