Hideous Form

I used to think
a man
was viewed only by the flesh,
now I know
I'm just a monster
living in detest
of what I've become;
a hideous form
of a human who can't live
another day without
feeling pain,
even if it gives me pleasure
for only a moment,
so I pray upon
the midnight moon
to release me
from the night
where darkness reigns King
over my desires.

*Inspired by reading Fyodor Dostoevsky's "Notes from Underground".