deepundergroundpoetry.com
Wrong Step
Phone-lit stairway fumble,
A demonstration of vulnerability.
Each timid step
Mimicked with patient breath.
She's already looking at the ground
With my eyes scanning her.
For now mercy dictates her safety,
Along with the possibility of capture.
Lone friend shambling the opposite way
An opportunity perhaps
Clear she lives alone,
That side shoe walk of intoxication,
A damning gait ,
Ankles turning in on themselves
Exposed hips intended to be spread.
Already excited as I stare through steady jets of condensation
The hunt is on, lead by charm
Voodoo smiles ensnaring confidence
From one desperate to avoid commitment.
A tip tap of social acknowledgement,
And so the door opens,
Blindly led in with welcoming arms.
The couch looks clean,
Readily sterilized.
She leads me to her chamber
Where she is willingly tied,
Adorned with blinding cloth,
Silenced by her chosen gag,
And left waiting to hear my zip.
She'll wonder why it takes so long
As the blood pours from her neck.
A demonstration of vulnerability.
Each timid step
Mimicked with patient breath.
She's already looking at the ground
With my eyes scanning her.
For now mercy dictates her safety,
Along with the possibility of capture.
Lone friend shambling the opposite way
An opportunity perhaps
Clear she lives alone,
That side shoe walk of intoxication,
A damning gait ,
Ankles turning in on themselves
Exposed hips intended to be spread.
Already excited as I stare through steady jets of condensation
The hunt is on, lead by charm
Voodoo smiles ensnaring confidence
From one desperate to avoid commitment.
A tip tap of social acknowledgement,
And so the door opens,
Blindly led in with welcoming arms.
The couch looks clean,
Readily sterilized.
She leads me to her chamber
Where she is willingly tied,
Adorned with blinding cloth,
Silenced by her chosen gag,
And left waiting to hear my zip.
She'll wonder why it takes so long
As the blood pours from her neck.
Published 20th Feb 2015
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Feb 2015 00:41am
Criticism: I feel as if the final line may have been placed for an incompetent reader only.
I love the predatory vibe throughout however, she's already looking down instantly captures a mindset for me, 13 - 16 does give the impression of a very bad view of women, then I suppose either sex can be explained in that manner.
From one desperate to avoid commitment also makes me think of "a whore", easy targets maybe?
Something about this feels genuine
Not so used to that in writing
I'd erase the ending line
Other than it's fairly unsettling
I love the predatory vibe throughout however, she's already looking down instantly captures a mindset for me, 13 - 16 does give the impression of a very bad view of women, then I suppose either sex can be explained in that manner.
From one desperate to avoid commitment also makes me think of "a whore", easy targets maybe?
Something about this feels genuine
Not so used to that in writing
I'd erase the ending line
Other than it's fairly unsettling
