Accepted Hallucination

Retained memory of a dream,
The only criteria I judge by,
Persistence of thought
Allowed to linger,
Emotional response null.
On so few occasions,
Sustaining something proves beneficial.
Expected hallucinations
Accepted as normality
Rejected significance
Respected if original
Yet passed of regardless,
Subconscious hints or troublesome thoughts,
Both reflected,
Neither truly acknowledged.
Searching for meaning
Within intrusive answers,
Observable indifference
Contradicted by frustration.
Still I feel as if I'm thinking about what I should  be feeling.
Waiting for the emotional impact,
Impatience retains virtuosity
While I admire the sentiments
Of what I should be mourning.
Composure retains the ability to act.
Threatened by myself,
In the presence of others
Telling tales of my mentality
Obscured by a deceptive format.
Deemed appropriate
Regardless of sub-text
Eventually restricted,
Analysis savoured improperly.
Meanings lost for the sake of ease
Satiate a desire to taunt,
Open admissions,
Forging credibility.
Mistrusted revelations
Under scrutiny
Reinforce belief in my persona.
Deception filters naturally
Envisage me as safe
Resting while you sleep