deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hell's Gates
I tremble and fall on my knee
To behold what lay before me
A towering gate, licked with flame
My name up next, the keeper proclaim
The sins of my past I must now object
or my eternal soul, she'll gladly collect
I look back on my life, the harm I've done
The mistakes I've made, as father, and as a son
I lived my life, paid my dues
Repented with those I showed abuse
though my life does not end how I plan
I regret nothing, for I am but a man
So, if hell inferno is what I truly deserve
Then let's stop wasting time, I'm ready to serve
To behold what lay before me
A towering gate, licked with flame
My name up next, the keeper proclaim
The sins of my past I must now object
or my eternal soul, she'll gladly collect
I look back on my life, the harm I've done
The mistakes I've made, as father, and as a son
I lived my life, paid my dues
Repented with those I showed abuse
though my life does not end how I plan
I regret nothing, for I am but a man
So, if hell inferno is what I truly deserve
Then let's stop wasting time, I'm ready to serve
Published 17th Feb 2015
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17th Feb 2015 7:52pm
This is beautifully written. It describes both the scene before the narrator and their emotions and thoughts. The vocabulary is varied and keeps the reader interested. The rhymes are perfect. It's a little too short for my liking, so I'd love it if you'd extend this piece a bit more. Also, perhaps you could try to fit in some metaphorical meaning into your work. It doesn't have to be too fancy or complex. Think of a method to convey some metaphor in your poems, and I think you could have some top notch poetry. Keep it up! I absolutely love this piece of work!
