Avoidance

if i could in a way
run away what would it be like...
not having to fight my conflicts?
would I be a coward running away?
or would it be nothing more of escaping  
and being alone as I always have been..
ever since I was ten I escaped my fears with delusions
mom and dad aren't arguing, he's just upset about something
I don't have anxiety, I just have trouble being around others
I don't go out much with friends, am I even a friend to them?
im hardly there for people.. only when they find me...
all I can do is listen and see them struggle no matter how badly I want to help them..  
it hurts me knowing I cant do anything..
will I forever be this way.. or do I still have to run away..
that's all I feel like I can do nowadays.....