deepundergroundpoetry.com
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I ts the same old shit each day
M y mind is exhausted
L eave me alone
E ven when I'm falling apart
T ell me you love me
T he last time I will hear it ever again
I promise I didn't plan this
N ever cry for me
G od, I swear I will miss you
G ive me satisfaction that you're alive
O utlive me as far as you can
M y mind is exhausted
L eave me alone
E ven when I'm falling apart
T ell me you love me
T he last time I will hear it ever again
I promise I didn't plan this
N ever cry for me
G od, I swear I will miss you
G ive me satisfaction that you're alive
O utlive me as far as you can
Published 4th Feb 2015
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likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 7
reads 925
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
4th Feb 2015 7:56pm
Theres a word for the form, but I don't remember it. And you never see it any more so it's really cool to see it used again. I like it.
The lines could have been more complex and please take this positively because I do like the piece. It can just be improved upon. It was a pleasure to read.
The lines could have been more complex and please take this positively because I do like the piece. It can just be improved upon. It was a pleasure to read.
4th Feb 2015 8:02pm
4th Feb 2015 9:26pm
5th Feb 2015 1:00am
impressive capturing of emotion with a construction that is refreshingly creative... amazing ink! and I wish you well my friend!!
10th Feb 2015 11:19pm
Thank you for the honest critique, Columz.
&& Thanks all for the lovely feedback :)
&& Thanks all for the lovely feedback :)
28th Jun 2015 5:40am
24th Jul 2015 6:00am
