Social Explanation

Scream; it doesn't matter, we're all tired
What do you save your breaths for?
What do you save your words for?
The same mind which conjured them up?
Those lips seem so tight
Wouldn't it be better to see them parted
For a vicious tongue licking blood from teeth.
It's dry, this throat of mine
So I swallow again and again, it hurts.
It hurts again and again
At least I feel that, at least I make it hurt.
External sources of pain seem to amass as naught more than thoughts.
Doesn't it look like love?
With eyes rolling behind closed lids.
Close enough for each breath to chill me.
Close enough for each word to pierce my senses.
I feel your anger but not my pain,
I just think this should be hurting me.
I listen to you sigh at my questions,
Thinking of nothing but ignorance,
Then reject the notion of contempt.
The hairs of my arms tickle your unnoticed fingers,
In a goosebump silence, you examine me,
And I examine myself along with you.
You look too deeply into my eyes only to assume you understand them,
We both say they seem empty,
But your reflection ofcourse must prove me wrong.
So did you find some hope for change within my gaze
Or do you just admire the sentiment?
I was told it sounds like I'm having a breakdown?
Yet that was all I heard.
A paperchain of faceless people wrap around my mind
Smothered in grey swirls,
I'm sure I'd worked alongside them earlier,
I pulled up my mask not to suffocate didn't I?
Their breaths worn as veils intoxicate me,
And this stare leaves me temporarily blinded.
I mean, the world didn't stop moving did it?
I just didn't notice.
That's the truth I'm sure.
Flies attracted to sweating skin leave trails in exhaled fog,
And they waft their hands to rid themselves of those attracted
Ascending on their filth.
Wouldn't it be better if they were dead?
So I could examine the fly more easily
And try to understand it's attraction to these people.
The grey swirl thickens and I wonder why they don't blow it away,
That paper chain seems to fade into singularity,
Hands adjoined without eyes to lead,
Guided individuality classed as teamwork.
I'm folding the chain to form a fence
Which I may look over to see something more
And even the swirling mass I call grey seems inspired to compare.
Overlooked, what do the consumed care for consumption
Shared sustenance is a theory is it not?
For those few who raised their hands in unison
Resisting the expected and synchronized rebuttal of hysteria.
You don't understand what you think you know too well
I explain these things to you and you nod, or bow, or hang your head as acceptance
With only the latter proving itself to be fitting.
These cracked windows wilt the bunting
From the inside looking up while cold it would appear so.
Decorate the landscape with shared opinions,
The collective minds of none intertwine for company
And the group splits into groups
Of which no one stands out.
So I try to split the paper chain only to find it fall apart
And the pieces are as fragile as the whole.
I'd try to reconnect them,
If it wasn't for that mass of grey swirls stealing my attention.
For affection, they had pleaded with themselves in my eyes,
I witnessed the desperation,
And thought of the way which would be best to stop it.
So I destroy each link in the chain,
Removing the constraints,
And stray without reservation into that mass of grey
Wondering if it's safe to breathe,
Before being distracted by so many observable swirls.
The flies are beautiful in silence
When scattered amidst these untended ashes,
The grey seemed so much more interesting,
Though company always warms our hearts.