deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bridge
Looking down
With a frown
30 feet up from the ground
Mind in a fog
Thick like smog
Feeling pulled down in a bog
Teary eye
As I sigh
A final word to say goodbye
Who's to say
It's not OK
To make the step and go away
So down I go
Cuz all I know
Is I have nothing left to show
With a frown
30 feet up from the ground
Mind in a fog
Thick like smog
Feeling pulled down in a bog
Teary eye
As I sigh
A final word to say goodbye
Who's to say
It's not OK
To make the step and go away
So down I go
Cuz all I know
Is I have nothing left to show
Published 3rd Feb 2015
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3rd Feb 2015 9:59pm
Another dark beauty K you have a nice lyrical feel to your rhymes
Cheers! Scot.
Cheers! Scot.
3rd Feb 2015 10:24pm
Clever uses of rhyme and the only thing i would change is perhaps refrain from using text talk (cuz) because it distracts from the rhythm if only just a bit.
5th Feb 2015 2:38am
</3 This is exactly how I feel right now and for awhile now. . . the analogy you use "Mind in a fog. Thick like smog." Is perfect. Really shows how someone feels when there's so much tearing them down and they just cant feel emotion. Emotionless,numb to the world. The fog is a perfect way to show what goes on in someones mind at times of pain that wont, and will not go away or seem to stop. Lost in the fog, and cant see . . . exactly how I fell. Amazing piece.
