Don't Go

I really wanted to die.
I wanted that "courage" to take more than the recommended amount of painkillers that were in the room next to me.
I wanted to be able to go and walk into traffic to just disappear.
I wanted to leave this life.
I didn't want to live anymore...

But my dear friend...
Oh my dear, dear friend.
You were there.
You were there for me.
I wanted to tell you goodbye, Sam.
I wanted to tell you to stay strong,
unlike me.
I wanted to lift that burden off your shoulders that I was causing.
But you won't let me.
No.
You made me stay...

You kept telling me
Don't go.
Please don't go.
You didn't know I was curled on my bedroom floor,
shaking and crying,
drowning in my own tears.
You didn't know that I had sat in the bathroom
with a bottle of painkillers in my hand for about a hour.
Thinking.
Of how I was going to leave...

I wanted to tell you goodbye first.
I wanted to tell you how much I loved you.
How grateful I was to have you as a friend.
How grateful I was to have you part of my life.

I'm sorry...
                            Promise me you won't leave...
                                          Promise me
I did make that promise to you.
You talk to me everyday.
You make sure I'm ok.
You make me laugh.
And
I thank you.
I thank all of you for keeping me alive,
because,
if you haven't been part of my life,
I wouldn't of been part of anyone elses.

I really wanted to die.
But,
I really want to live.
Thank you.