Since You’ve Been Dead

Since you’ve been dead
The dogs not been fed
I’ve not slept in our bed
But I’m now free to wed
Since you’ve been dead

Since you’ve been dead
I’ve been groped by Ted
Got a proposal from Jed
I’ve tried you’re sister instead
Since you’ve been dead

Since you’ve been dead
I’ve put a wig on my head
I picked my nose till it bled
I’ve demolished the shed
Since you’ve been dead

Since you’ve been dead
I’ve stopped eating bread
I’m no longer misled
I dread the unsaid
Since you’ve been dead

I’ve almost got the insurance cheque
It’s made me such a nervous wreck
they believe you fell, you weren’t pushed
they think accidental instead of ambushed
with a tear in my eye, It’s innocent I’ve pled
after appropriate grieving your sister I’ll wed
they’ve believed the stories and rumours I’ve spread
I‘ve been so much happier since you’ve been dead