Lost

I'm so confused
I'm so scared of losing them
One fucks the shit out my mind
The other satisfies my needs between my thighs
Lord knows I want nothing but the best for them
I hate feeling like this
Is it love
Is it lust
Hell it might even be guilt
Their happiness means a lot to me but does mine mean anything to them
Who should I chose or should I say lose
I prayed about it and for some reason
They are still in my life ....idk what to do I just want one to have and to hold
To love me for the fucked up person I really am inside and out flaws an all
Who is really for me.