Dear Mommy

Dear Mommy,
Did you leave for a reason? Was that reason because of me?
I don't really know what I did. You never explained, you just walked out. I know that I bothered you and got in your way. But why give up on me so quickly? Am I not worth the time it takes to love someone?
Make me understand, please, at least try. Did I drive you to the point of no return? Did I cause the low point in your life? I only wanted your love, I'm sorry Mommy.
This is your little girl talking to you here. Not some random stranger, but I guess it doesn't matter. I look back now and think of all the times I took blame for things that weren't my fault.
I wanted your life to be easier Mommy, I love you, do you know that?
I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted peace,
but that was selfish of me. Why should I get peace when your obviously hurting?
Mommy, please, I really am sorry. Just don't stop loving me, I'll do anything for you.
But I must ask, am I the reason you drink? Do I remind you of previous mistakes? Ones that can't be taken back?
I don't do it on purpose, I really miss you Mommy. I will never forgive myself. I couldn't take the embarassment. All my friends laughed.
You scared me Mommy. Every time I looked at you, I looked into the furture and I got sick to my stomach.
I'm scared to be like you. It makes me shake so badly, and the tears fall from my eyes.
I didn't know what to do, so I turned to the razor. My trusted friend. It would never decieve me, or tell me I'm worthless.
But, my best friend was a nasty habbit that I was forced to break. I don't know where to go now, and it feels like it's all your fault.
As I come to an end of what I have to say, I will apologize once more.
I'm sorry Mommy. I didn't mean to ruin your life,
...or break it none the less.