Becoming A New Man

To give up what keeps me
young
is to rid myself of those
things that keep me
held together;
clenching what hasn't yet been
stolen from my childhood,
all the while
trying to become a man.

It's been a troublesome road
chalked with fading
drawings of the past,
dwelling on painful losses
of life and love.

Contemplating on the end
to make ends meet,
when the debt is too high
and my feelings are numb
from so many cold shoulders.

I am learning, however,
to become the kind of man
that a man can become;
confident in myself,
words and actions.

That is not to say
I will not make mistakes,
wrong judgements,
or commit my contribution
of bad things over the years,
but I will take each day,
live with a stronger regard
for what my purpose is for living.

Wondering how I can further
understand
how to leave
my mark on this world,
and impact it in a way
that changes everything.