Paranoia

Ask me what paranoia is
While I walk through my house with a knife tucked in the pocket of my house coat
Or when my friends begin to worry about my flashlight collection
Ask me when I'm turning 'on' the lights to go to sleep
Or when my teddy is replaced by a flashlight
Ask me when I'm lying in bed shrieking for hands that are not present to stop grabbing at me
Ask me why I'm picking holes in my skin
Or why the locks on my doors get checked 4 times before I even think about bed
Ask me why I examine every room of the house right when I wake up 'just to be sure'

But please
Whatever you do
Don't ask me any of these things
Because the answer carries one story that is too unbearable to share.