deepundergroundpoetry.com
north nam wasn't the only enemy
they were all full of madness then, child
the G.I. generation steeped in misplaced
patriotic trust
government's war slaves
point-pummeling police
shouting our boys to fight and die
for America's universal right to once again
shove the fucking banner
up another country's ass
the bureaucrats knew
their shiny shiny Monsanto agent orange
exposed most to mutilation
mangled children in the womb
and as their findings also proved
our lovely Lucy in the sky
does not enhance a soldier's faculties
in the ways they had hoped
against forests full of poltergeists
some say we hid, rebelled, or ran away but
whatever they say
we found nirvana in a love
that looked feral to our fathers
tribal drumbeats
on firelit psychadelic expansions
musical praises to marijuana
draped in laughter and plumeria
living aloha with our small ones
in our Ha'ena beach abodes
we're the ones
who could never bow to a death-life
stand at the tracks
to watch the constant backlash of carnage
tired of hearing our own voices
falling on apathetic ears
and though we always loved our country
we loved our brothers more --
our brothers who too often came home
wearing nothing
but a bloody flag
the G.I. generation steeped in misplaced
patriotic trust
government's war slaves
point-pummeling police
shouting our boys to fight and die
for America's universal right to once again
shove the fucking banner
up another country's ass
the bureaucrats knew
their shiny shiny Monsanto agent orange
exposed most to mutilation
mangled children in the womb
and as their findings also proved
our lovely Lucy in the sky
does not enhance a soldier's faculties
in the ways they had hoped
against forests full of poltergeists
some say we hid, rebelled, or ran away but
whatever they say
we found nirvana in a love
that looked feral to our fathers
tribal drumbeats
on firelit psychadelic expansions
musical praises to marijuana
draped in laughter and plumeria
living aloha with our small ones
in our Ha'ena beach abodes
we're the ones
who could never bow to a death-life
stand at the tracks
to watch the constant backlash of carnage
tired of hearing our own voices
falling on apathetic ears
and though we always loved our country
we loved our brothers more --
our brothers who too often came home
wearing nothing
but a bloody flag
Published 16th Dec 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 2
comments 10
reads 991
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
16th Dec 2014 3:55pm
<< post removed >>
19th Dec 2014 5:21pm
Well, death-life was supposed to be a life filled with and surrounded by death in this case, though, I think I may have stolen it from another poet in another context...just sounds like a word combo he would use...either way, glad it worked for you. Thanks for coming back [:
18th Dec 2014 1:15am
19th Dec 2014 5:22pm
19th Dec 2014 3:49am
Ahh, nothing constructive frm me here, reads fine. only tat i wud say nw is thnx fr sharing this. Frankly when i read first tym at de comp, was taken aback with its powerful protagonist voice, which in back of my minds spurred something fr my small entry too. Du reads certainly stir sorta chain reactions n inspires in one way or the other...n u r v.much an influencer, atleast fr my senses.
To say abt this piece more, the facts u have packed in shows ur homework.esp.agent orange in S2 along with intro S1 brings out the gore exploding in S3 nirvana, marijuana n plumeria.loved de way u evolve to end in a brave s4 statement.
Overall, fine piece to win the arena race.
Bit unbelievable u lost in the later round der. But its juz comp n i always believe there is nothing der as poetic judgements:)
Shine on more. Xx
To say abt this piece more, the facts u have packed in shows ur homework.esp.agent orange in S2 along with intro S1 brings out the gore exploding in S3 nirvana, marijuana n plumeria.loved de way u evolve to end in a brave s4 statement.
Overall, fine piece to win the arena race.
Bit unbelievable u lost in the later round der. But its juz comp n i always believe there is nothing der as poetic judgements:)
Shine on more. Xx
19th Dec 2014 5:31pm
Haha, thanks, uma. I didn't think the losing poem was bad, but in light of the competing poems' quality, mine came up short. Awesome that you got the important wee clues here...this topic has made me genuinely angry upon a few occasions, and i had the amazing opportunity to live in hawaii when I was younger, so was just lucky to get this genre/topic/location. Pleased you enjoyed it. [:
21st Dec 2014 11:04pm
remarkable piece for a subject that always arouses fervor. the guys & women who died there didn't consider themselves heroes, just guys doing their job, whether it was just or not. the memorial wall in Washington is a poor exchange for the lives that were given to build it...
5th Jan 2015 9:46pm
aye, the subject always makes me a little ranty. i wondered for a long time how people could become so brainwashed as to feel that killing others with feelings and families was "just their job"... but there's so much out there, it has become clear that this is just the human condition until further notice. everyone has reasons from staying out of poverty to honoring family, to trauma, to the fact that they simply grew to like it.... the list goes on, and it's still sad. thanks again for your thoughts, JFed.
25th Jun 2015 12:55pm
25th Jul 2015 6:43am
