Get up

artful
heartful
keen[ing]
lines
in
deed

keen on, lass

you make my days with these appreciations, saxxman, thank you much [:

Your metaphors of your persistent survival are like a jackhammer...my money is on you.

hah! we sure do keep bangin' on. love that you're here, RT. thank you. [:

ah well, i found most of this one floundering about my notepad so i saved it...or what of it could be saved. [:

thanks for stopping in, Gabriel

the coldness in those everythings felt..bitterly said, esp. 'death' n 'dead' used makes it more effective. Loved the s4 as a whole, but more its first two  lines
"I watch trifles plant themselves  
like the insult of wild freezing rain“
Metaphorized well all across...n that final dose of wished warmth works grt.
U r back into flowing poetry i hope, tq fr the read:)

uma, m'dear, I think you get me. thank you so very much for letting me know you see this poem as a poem and not a whinge with a tinge of hope. Your feedback is valuable, so I hope you'd tell me if you saw anything that really wasn't working. the same as I'd hope you would tell me if I had coal smudge or food on my face. you would.... right? [:

Jesta, dear poet..ur polite gud yet v.'meaningful' words brought me here agn...to add upon something not abt this piece but as such abt 'critique'. and yes, that 'meaningful' quickly reminds me of Sumeet gud ol'frnd who showed me the light of du way back years ago. Days of Jack n Sumeet were those of some hard critique-ing b/w poets I saw then,still many do here,I dont deny. Poetic rigours could sure be debated or improvised by point outs of anything from nuances to loopholes if at all there. But agn, eyes of critique,the judgements, feels only subjective JMO. and ur words ofcourse make me feel, anything pointed out constructive fares up more than visits of juz praise or a hi-bye count. One more quick add, remembered how once deathproof gave a hardblow critique on my scribblings years ago, but that straightened a lot:) would stop here not making it overly written, n hope wl be with "real talkings" in de future:)

the tone of your work is dreamlike mam.
 
reminds of something better being available.
 
i wish i could talk it better like uma, she's a smart lady but regardless
 
i'm a fan miss.......

However you get your thoughts across about a write is a treat for me anyway, JR. Adds a bit of another dimension seeing how someone else sees it, so thank you for saying. [:

I like the possibilities of this one. Definitely something to ponder, and revisit. Much enjoyed.

ah, thank you, Micah. always nice to hear it's worth another visit [:

Depression sucks, I know the feeling, well said...

Enjoyed...

can't say i'm completely happy you can relate, but misery does enjoy a bitta company once in a while. [:

glad you got something here though; thanks, stranger. [: