Unknown to Me

it feels deep.
the curse we have to beat.
I see the strange aura through the air.
the empty tears shed to broken hearts we bare.
I've seen defeat in my victory in traps i been ensnared.
when lights warm and bright comfort me when cold nights hold me i feel alright.
but where is she?
where have i been led astray from dastardly plot that have been played.
am i truly a player or just the game as people use their tools to walk over me its painful yet i pave the way.
the sins of my faults truly a sin when i admit to the curse i've been given.
i gave my heart to the soul i believed to be true.
but as the gift was no gift.
but was a heart that ripped.
no longer.
no more stronger.
i see no pain.
i see no guilt.
i see no love or blood to be spilt.
my eyes no longer wonder nor give the slightest tilt.
for what is lost is now lost.
and i wish never to be found.
where is she now?
where?
where?
where have i done wrong?
where have i led to this heartbreak?
have i simply missed the biggest mistake?
or was it not as big as it seems to leave me here Unstitched
being tortured by my memory's whip
it snaps at me like how i try to snap images of the good times instead of the bad.  
but yet there is no break.
no break in this hardship.
but there is a brake in my heart.
this confused quest is still to be.
as yet this whole love is unknown to me.