all, both, neither or death

My mind knows to let go
But my heart wont cooperate
My mind says "drop it"
But my fingers grip tighter
To dream, to hopes, to what might be love....eventually
My mind says eventually will never come
My heart says tomorrow, maybe
I want you with every fiber of my being
But this conflict... this war
This waging, bloody war
I should get out now so that i may stay alive
But i want to save you too, its my job
It is.
Isn't it?
Arent i the one that you always cling to?
No...thats only when its convienant for you
But what about me?
Don't i deserve to be happy?
To be free? No?
Yes? Maybe...
Im at the edge, ready to drop you in the sea
You are the jewel...always have been...always will be
But if you're at the bottom of the sea will i want you less?
Yes. Perhaps...
But inside, i wont ever let go...
Breathe in. More. Now exhale. Say it with me
"You don't need him"

I don't,  but what do i listen to?
My brain, my mind...
Or my heart?
Logic or love, that is the question
If you take logic, but leave the love you end up alone
If you take the love but leave the logic i end up like miss Juliet
Shall i suffer happily?
Die alone?
or find solace in  solitude
Heart?
Mind?
Body?
All?
One, both or neither or death.
Preferably not death