What I Could Do (What You Should Fucking Do)

I could be a slut
I could fuck shit up
I could drink 'till I'm drunk
and silence all the screaming voices
that bounce about in my sick head but I
won't.

I could hit rock fucking bottom
I could get worse if I wanted
I could die but I'm already so haunted
and these voices echoing my past are stronger
than ever and I could die; my sick head I could
just fucking sever...
but I won't (maybe I should).

Now all I think about is getting worse,
is becoming less like the girl
I used to be.
I wanna die.
I wanna fucking SCREAM.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HURT
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN I DESERVE
DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW HOW THE WORLD
FUCKING WORKS "MOM"
BECAUSE BEING A MORMON
IS WRONG.

And I won't let you drag me down.
You think you're going to heaven?

Explain how all you do is hate hate hate
and scream scream SCREAM at me?

The thing is

I'm not a slut (you think I am)
I'm not fucking shit up (you are)
I don't drink 'till I get drunk (not for a long time)
but you think I do.

I'm not the one hitting rock fucking bottom
(Wanna know who is? Wanna know who's the one
who gets high off hate? It's YOU)
I'm not getting worse
and I also don't wanna get worse
(the only way I could get better is
staying the fuck away from YOU)
and I'm not going to die
(sometimes I WANT YOU TO DIE BUT I WON'T FUCKING
KILL YOU THOUGH YOU'VE KILLED ME INSIDE).