Why couldn't you hate me?

I walked through a tiny door.
Full of darkness and tears.
I pounded on the way out until my hands turned numb.
I suppose it is better for you to hate me.
Hate me for all I never did for you.
Just hate me.. For I don't have to hate myself.
I walked through this tiny door only to see a tiny spider crawl through.
It entangled me in it's web.
Struggling to breath as I crawled to freedom.
I crawled and crawled.
But I found you standing right there to lift me back to my feet,
Why do you love me so?
You smile with a death like grin.
Souls dance under the moon in perfect timing to this clicking clock.
I walked in my dark forest full of blood, but you stood there like a siren.
And when I tried to sail away you became a selkie.
And I would give up anything to kiss you once more.
I wish you hated me.. For I wouldn't feel this way.
You left me so long ago.
Now pictures of you are all I have.
And I'm wishing you were somehow here again.
And it feels that if I wait long enough I would see your sweet smile again.
But I all I see now is the dark shadow carrying a reaper scythe.
Why couldn't you hate me?