My Story

I stand alone surrounded by the corpses
Of demons that haunted me, it was a slaughter
I've burned every bridge over troubled water
I found the place where the darkness dwells
I wanna leave, but I've become comfortable in Hell
For all of 19 years I've been in conflict with myself
I'm insecure about every facet of my existence
From the way that I'm living
To the way I bury myself in my lyricism
Confessing all my troubles to the microphone
When it ain't like anyone actually listens
I've been standing in the dark for too long
I make my mistakes into art, but inside it's all wrong
The pain is still sharp, penning sad song after sad song
This is for all those that meet me
Claim they'll always be there but leave me
And for those that greet me
Tell me to cheer up as if it was that fucking easy 
They say that I've changed, that it's harder to relate to me
Good, my heart has no vacancy
I'm happy to blatantly 
Call you out Y'all seem exactly the same to me
And I don't believe that you are what you claim to be
Flagrantly living a life of emotional vagrancy 

Some say that if I continue to live this way
All this shit might kill me one day but I suppose that that's okay
I don't wanna live forever 
To be eroded by the weather 
Left behind by those that said that we'd always be together
I just wanna make the most of my time
Acting like I'm fine
Trying to function with my messed up mind
But I'm breaking down secretly 
Facing all my fears but they keep defeating me
Doubts and insecurities are eating me
Now I'm nauseous from all the bullshit
These people keep on feeding me so eagerly
So who am I to trust when these people cause disgust?
And build up rust on my happiness bus
Until it fell apart and could no longer function
But I suppose it doesn't matter what 
You're riding on the road to self destruction
The struggle has gotten the best of me
I have a tendency to wallow in painful memories
I have most of the ingredients to happiness 
But I forgot the recipe
Trying to balance being a fighter and a lover
Don't judge a book by it's cover
Because my story is just as fucked up as any other