deepundergroundpoetry.com
I Feel You
I feel you from the very deepest
depth of my soul
I miss you more than ever
and I'll never let you go
Though I may never see
or look into your eyes again...
In my heart
is where I'll keep u friend
depth of my soul
I miss you more than ever
and I'll never let you go
Though I may never see
or look into your eyes again...
In my heart
is where I'll keep u friend
Published 22nd Nov 2014
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22nd Nov 2014 7:06am
Short and simple but there is emotion bubbling through. If you don't mind, though, I would question the final line, which seems weak to me, where it should be dramatic and strong, and the word friend seems rather at odds with the tenor of the rest of the poem. I don't know if you deliberately used half rhymes or not. But a perfect rhyme is a powerful way to end. I would consider rethinking your final couplet. Just a thought.
