Found Notebook Early 2013

I feel like I'm anchored down
and floating away

I can't feel, can't see
Nothing's being perceived by me

help me anyone
let me believe
I got a beating heart
beating thoughts
a shadow of belief

Tell me please god, I'm desperate
is my blood pumping
and what is this fear gathering in my throat
I'm so close to humanity's dying
car crash wrecks

I can't tough you
feel you
(Can you hear me now?)

Now you turn
Ignore outstretched hands (I'm falling please god catch me)

I'm desperate
I'm desperation
please tell me this is fake
I'm suffocating, yearning
choking on words I can not make

Shadows slip through me
am I nothing?
(I am nothing!)
help me relieve this burden
human emotion absent from my life

I can't feel
I can't seal the deal
there is no here

glass separates the ghosts from beating hearts

I feel the warmth
but it's not beating hearts
the fire doesn't feel me
licking against thin glass barriers

I can't feel
no pain
no gain
lost nerves in the air

Let me believe I still got a beating heart
beating thoughts
I still got a beating heart
beating fists
a shadow of belief

Cold tight skin can't reach me
it wants to teach me
underground doesn't mean gone

the grave won't reach me
won't see me
won't take me beyond

Shadows of nothing
taunted breathing
I can't reach this human anatomy
save me from the empty
that was never full

The hands that can't touch me
am I alive
or did death touch me

Is this real or did my mind deceive me
Is this air I am breathing or desperation

Tell me god please
is my blood pumping
what is this fear in my throat

I am desperation
blood spinning
what is this nightmare I am dreaming?