You May

I've come to see that not everyone is a hero.
I noticed that not everyone will fight for me.
You may think I'm stupid, asked dumbfounded "Oh. NOW you know?"
You may look at me, and question me, and ponder if it's a perfect world I see.

I've been watching the humans that litter my life.
I started to hear something different come from their throats.
You may glance away with the shame like that of an immoral wife.
You may perk and listen for their new and twisted melody's notes.

I've seen laughter mated with occasions of cruelty and horror.
I discovered phantom images of love used to play with ones mind.
You may quiet and coo that you only wish to lighten the terror.
You may bristle and battle just to show you are truly "kind".

I've tested and questioned my friends.
I went through their minds that are fevered, satanic, and unwell.
You may think that death is where it ends.
You may forget, we can all end in hell.

I've washed my hair 6 times today.
I feel wronged by everyone in the world that was mine.
You may not know what to say.
You may convince yourself that I'll be fine.

I've plotted and schemed for a way out.
I can't remember the last time something was good.
You may ignore the thoughts I complained about.
You may someday wish you had understood.

I've eyed my razor for 6 days now.
I  stop to wonder if its quick or slow.
You may try to change and see you don't know how.
You may look back and ask "Did she have to know?".

I've paced and raced though the wrong and the right.
I decided my time was up, so it's time I paid.
You may never understand how it was black and white.
You may cry sometimes and wish I'd stayed.

I've been dead for 6 hours.
I never knew if I was for hell or above.
You may fear the devils powers.
You may only gift me a heaven of love.