Drunken Mind//

Feelings raging with anger.
Losing control of my own thoughts
Desire to leave & never look back
You’re the soul reason of my wants to
do something bad.

Let’s go to a party, why not?
What could possibly go wrong?
A beer? Yea.
Sure, give me another one.

We’re not doing anything wrong.
Playing games & having fun.
My best friend is here &
she’s the most amazing person.
She taking care of me while I’m
not totally functioning.
But the only problem is that
she’s not even here…

Try to have fun, even if you’re
kinda left out.
I don’t even know who half of these
people are.

I keep looking around & see no one
I know. It’s okay I think to myself.

Beer pong? I suck at it
but practice makes perfect right?
It’s really late.
My parents must be calling me.
They wanted me house at 12.
Too bad they don’t know where I am.

Beer after beer. It doesn't
even taste that bad.
It’s pretty good after a few.
Keep going. Playing game after game.

“You gotta drink!” I hear someone say to me.
I lick my hand & put some salt on it.
I go to the wall, I flick bobby off my
beer, tap the table, lick the salt off my hand
& drink with my left hand.
I might look kinda stupid but
that’s the game.
The shit we gotta do to be sane.

The game is over & we look
like roaches scattering after
someone moves the rock which
we’re under.
Where is Ashley, where is Gabe?
I am alone. Did they leave me here?

I walk out of the house & walk toward the car
Someone comes from behind.
It’s Gabriel! I get so happy to see him,
but he tells me I can’t be outside.
Why? Oh right..
I’m a minor drinking beer with college people
at 2 am.

I can’t do this anymore I’ve drank too much.
“Ashley? Ashley?” I cry...
Where is she?
I can’t find her & I really want to go home.
I know I’ve fucked up.
I thought the beer would kinda help.
But everything hits me harder than a car.
Everything comes crawling back.
From the depths of hell, my past
comes to drag me down with it.
& who am I to resist with my drunken mind.