deepundergroundpoetry.com
Ripped Apart, Part 1
I've pinned open
thou eyes, to and fro,
I told you to stop,
but you wouldn't’ let go,
your ghastly whispers
and your nasty charm,
now just look at yourself,
you got no fucking arms.
Just look at those lips,
so gawky and weak,
where rhetoric trembles
as if they could speak,
you got sterile breath,
you got worms on your gums,
(and it was just about then,
that I ripped out his tongue)
thou eyes, to and fro,
I told you to stop,
but you wouldn't’ let go,
your ghastly whispers
and your nasty charm,
now just look at yourself,
you got no fucking arms.
Just look at those lips,
so gawky and weak,
where rhetoric trembles
as if they could speak,
you got sterile breath,
you got worms on your gums,
(and it was just about then,
that I ripped out his tongue)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 2
comments 16
reads 1007
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
Anonymous
21st Oct 2014 9:35am
ooohh, dark and foreboding in that really smart way that makes it more scary. A little psychotic to top it off
well done, great piece
well done, great piece
1
re: Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
Thank you so much Miki..! That's awesome coming from you. It was probably too much fun to write. ;)
Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
21st Oct 2014 4:17pm
re: Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
22nd Oct 2014 00:27am
"that'll teach him not
to leave the toilet
seat up... "
precious, Paulo!
1
Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
21st Oct 2014 6:57pm
re: Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
21st Oct 2014 11:09pm
It's dark and sinister. True feelings unleashed. It's like a breath of fresh air. Enjoyed.
1
re: Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
22nd Oct 2014 3:51am
Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
22nd Oct 2014 00:25am
oh mah gooness!
Now yr talkin', babe.....
folks'round here like them Rip-out-Body-Parts po'ums.....(It's All The Rage, yknow)
but
ain't a one of'em can write'em so well as thee, mlove.................
1
re: Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
Of course he couldn't say it, but never argue with the woman holding a severed tongue. :) thank you.
re: re: Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
22nd Oct 2014 7:21pm
Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
23rd Oct 2014 1:24am
Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
"I've pinned open
thou eyes, to and fro,
I told you to stop" my fav part... lol, to and fro, perfect!
Dissecting this piece would be an oxymoron, me thinks~
Love it, Reita...
thou eyes, to and fro,
I told you to stop" my fav part... lol, to and fro, perfect!
Dissecting this piece would be an oxymoron, me thinks~
Love it, Reita...
1
re: Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
23rd Oct 2014 9:12am
Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1
23rd Oct 2014 10:41am
You've satisfied all my perverse desires with this very delectable treat. Much enjoyed.
1
re: Re: Ripped Apart, Part 1