My Apologies, I Didn't Care

I've refused to help,
a friend in need,
just because I had better shit to do.
I've lost my mind,
and found it again,
somewhere between,
fuck you and hold me close.
I've watched her slip away,
and fall apart,
day by day.
I can't say I regret my fuck-ups,
because without them,
I couldn't be me.
However,
as I looked back,
and saw where I've been,
I can say that there are moments,
that I should've said "I love you".
I'd like to think,
that maybe you would be here,
had I not been so distant.
Some nights I still wait,
for you to come home,
and tell me about your day.
I wish you were here,
because the bed feels so empty,
these halls are too quiet,
and this torment is so real.
I know that there is an existence,
that takes place after death,
I don't know if I will see you again.
For the times I should've said it,
for the days that hurt so bad,
keep these words with your soul,
until I see you again,
I love you...