I'm a Monster

It's so damn funny
how people think
my perspective is positive.
When I say I'm not the
same person today as
I was three years ago
I'm not meaning it in a good way.
No.
This heart of gold
has burned to ash.
This light has been
turned off.
No longer am I
little miss good-
no,
I've become a monster.
I can't escape myself.
Why should I keep playing
cat and mouse?
What's the point?
I'll just embrace the demon
I am
as I watch everything
around me
crumble like sand.
There is a distant voice
and it's hard to hear.
It whispers
ever so softly in my ear.
It tells me I'm good.
I'm a child of light,
not darkness.
Excuse me -
tell me that when I see light.
I'm a fish gasping for air.
I'm a heavy cloud
unable to let go of the rain.
I'm a prisoner in a
dark cold cell
trying to stay sane.
My body can't take
this torture anymore.
I'm slipping, falling, drowning.
I'm invisible now.