I Will Never Be Ok?

Let me tell you story        
let me set you straight        
I am an ever increasing spiral of thoughts        
I am never on time        
but always late.        
       
I live my life as a echo        
outside looking in        
walking on a paper chain        
I dance, I perform, I sing.    
     
With my soul given as a token    
and only broken arms to hold you    
My head contains the knowledge    
deadly secrets that must never be spoken.        
       
I present myself as a ruined drawing      
a high pitched scream,        
a random number        
blinking on the computer screen.        
       
My body aches        
I just want to heal        
this is my truth        
and this is how I feel        
       
I will never be ok!!  
       
I wrap my appendage's in bandages        
and nobody will bother me        
no one will say a word,       
from afar I conceal your view        
I seek contact from a distance        
as you fuck my head up        
to lower my resistance.        
       
Like porcelain        
I am brittle        
I crumble with a touch        
watch me fall to pieces        
as my brain turn's      
to sludge.      
       
I am water in a toilet        
I am the sweat upon your head        
what's the point in living        
if I cannot leave your bed.    
   
I will never be ok!!  
       
You douse me in petrol        
just to keep me warm        
you are that never ending battle        
that's been fought        
since the day I was born.        
       
Now I have become glass        
formed from the sand from which you came        
you have destroyed me            
with no one else to blame        
but myself.        
       
I WILL NEVER BE OK?