MASKS

No control , pain is all that's left . One quick cut is all it takes . The pain is mine to command and control . I can give it and I can make it stop . The only control I have left is wither I live or die or how much pain I feel .

To feel is all I ask , the trickle of blood runs from my arm and I feel human once more . The sorrow is back in the bottle once more and the mask is back on again . The pain he cause , the injuries will never heal . Promises of life long love turn to ash in his mouth . He only stays to hurt me more . His torture for me will never end and there is no help , no hope no escape.

The mask I wear is for my child and my child alone for he is all that is left . Nothing is real anymore . I am less then human and he made me that way . Why am I nothing , why do I deserve to suffer like this . Am I nothing but a toy to be played with ?

The mask is my strength it gives me a safe place to hide from the horror I call my life . just one more day , just one more cut is all I need , sweet pain  .